Getting so much better all the time.

January 11, 2008 · Posted in For His glory, Life, The Maker's Diet · 1 Comment 

If you look over to the right in the now reading section you will note that I am currently reading The Maker’s Diet. Yeah thats right, it’s a diet book, but unlike any I have ever tried before. It is biblically based and quite interesting.

I picked this up because the Author, Jordan S. Rubin, has Chrones disease also. His was much worse than mine, he was pretty much on deaths door as he wasn’t responding to conventional treatment. He had begun trying everything that was recommended to him in the hopes of getting better.

The Maker’s diet is the result of his journey through illness. That is far from the whole story but if you really want to hear it all you should buy the book. The diet part itself is going to be hard as I will be required to give up a few things that I really love, the main one being pork. On the plus side I have already found alternatives to most of the pork products that I consume.

Hopefully following this diet will bring my digestive system back into some semblance of normality. Feeling this way all the time is very tiring and really doesn’t help with the depression all that much either.

I will try to keep you abreast of my progress through this blog when I start. I have to read through the whole book and prepare myself for this as it will be hard for me when everyone else in the house is eating something that I can no longer have. I have been dropping a few things here and there from my diet already so that I don’t have to drop everything all at once and go into some strange frenzy the first time I see someone eating bacon. I have added a category for this, hopefully I will stick to this and make some progress before I wimp out!

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Verbosity

June 17, 2007 · Posted in Life, Random Thoughts · 3 Comments 

What do you do when you have nothing to say?

Write a ambling post about nothing just to appease the blogiverse!

I should be asleep right now, couldn’t do it. Tried, failed, surrendered.

Stopped taking the SAM-e for awhile to see if it might be the cause of my gastric disturbances of late. If it is I will be disappointed as it is the first thing I have taken that genuinely made a dent in the depression.

I was walking through the Sahara this afternoon, my side yard, and was thinking that right now Astroturf might not be a bad idea. I would be way ahead of everyone else right now in the green department. They say it is slippery when it is wet but considering the drought conditions that won’t be a problem. Oh, and it won’t turn brown when the dog pees on it either, stupid dog. Not that his urinary problems are having any effect at the moment but if it ever turns green again you will still be able to tell where he went!

I think I will try to sleep again, the pastor doesn’t like it when I fall asleep during the service.

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There is not enough Xanax in the world.

February 26, 2007 · Posted in Blogging the disease · 2 Comments 

I am all worked up about going back to work tonight. I need to do something besides popping pills to get myself slowed down. The last thing I need is to have another breakdown there.

Right now my head is throbbing and my hands are shaking, which is making it darn hard to type. Lots of correcting going on here. I can feel that weird skin crawling sensation. I really hate that part as it makes me very uncomfortable.

I could have stayed in bed right up till time to go to work but I don’t think my dogs would appreciate that at all. You know for as big as Basset Hounds are, they sure have small bladders!

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Don’t ask, don’t tell

February 22, 2007 · Posted in Blogging the disease · 6 Comments 

I have been battling my depression lately and truth be told, it is winning. It really doesn’t help that I have contacted two different doctors and neither of them have called me back. That is really helpful to someone in my mental state.

It’s getting harder and harder to get out of bed and don’t get me started on work. It has been hectic there lately and since I am not dealing well with stress it is only a matter of time before something snaps. Hopefully when that happens it won’t be something that causes me to lose my job.

I have to force myself to eat at the moment. I just have no interest in food or eating. I remember what happened the last time I got this way. The only problem is that when it gets worse I won’t even be willing to force myself to eat. Although I have also been known to start binge eating when it gets worse. That is the worst part about my depression, I never know what is going to happen next because it seems different each time.

Back to the doctor thing. This is really bothering me and is making it hard for me to cope. Because I can’t even get these doctors to call me back I have basically given up. I don’t think I will be trying to call any other doctors because that whole rejection thing is biting me hard.

Sorry for yet another change to the look of the blog. I am going minimalistic for now. It loads faster, but only when the host isn’t crapping out on me. I need another soda to drink and there aren’t any in the house. I don’t really feel like going out right at the moment as it is too darn early.

I can’t imagine the toll this is taking on my girls either. Because of everything that is going on with me mentally my ability to take anything is pretty much nill. So the girls really don’t have to do much to send me into a screaming rage. I know it scares the crap out of them, it scares me too. I have never hurt anyone in one of my rages but like I said I never know because it is different every time.

I am going to go back to bed now and hopefully wake up in a better state of mind. I doubt it, but I can hope can’t I?

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Not entirely unhappy

August 15, 2006 · Posted in Blog, Blogging the disease · 3 Comments 

I am hoping that the upswing in my mood over the last couple days is due to my new meds and not just wishful thinking. I have been not all to entirely unhappy. Now if I could just get this knee fixed I would be about as normal as I get!

I haven’t been posting lately because, well, there just isn’t that much happening. There has been a lot to do at work and that has kept me pretty busy and too tired to blog.

The girls first day of school is Tuesday, I don’t know if I am looking forward to it or not. I always worry about them on that first day. Wondering if they are doing ok and finding where they need to be. Are they making friends blah blah blah. You know the drill right?

I need some more music to put on my MP3 player and I am open to suggestions. Yes Linda I already have some Replacements on there! I am looking for some high energy music, something to get the blood pumping! Let me know what you think!

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