Maybe by the time it actually starts my enthusiasm will return but for now, I just don’t feel it. Not sure why, it’s a cornucopia of photography subjects just waiting to be shot.

Maybe, just maybe, it has something to do with the fact that it’s going to be hot as blazes out there the entire week. Maybe I’m just getting too old to enjoy it. Maybe my health has something to do with it.

Anyway, I need to go shake myself out of this funk. Going to go find someone to talk to on my radio.

73′s

This Microsoft mouse is driving me insane. Last week I had to push really hard on the left button to get a double click, this week I just barely touch it and it double clicks especially on things you really don’t want it too. Nothing like paying the same bill twice to make you go out and buy a new mouse!

I am amazed at how little I can get done when with good intentions I start a project. I have three going at the moment but somewhere up the line the train derailed and I’ve not accomplished much since. I would love to blame it on the health issues I have been having lately but honestly I could have been working on them anyway, they don’t really require much more effort than getting out of bed and going to my computer. Wait, I know…

I will blame it on the fact that my laptop died! See if it still worked I could have been working while I was in bed! Yeah, that’s the ticket.

I really am hoping to get out and do some photography. It has been pretty sparse lately. Even the flowers I posted the other day were on the inside of the house.

Alright, let’s get out there and get some bad guys!

As you may have gathered, considering my track record, I have not accomplished much over the last few weeks. I am finally recovering from my somewhat long winded illness. To celebrate I am going to share a photo. It’s poorly composed and the flowers were not very healthy. So what does one do in that situation? Over saturate it, tweak the contrast and hope no one notices!

Click to embiggen

My health insurance expired at the beginning of this month, now all I have is the Medicaid with a huge spend down that makes it practically useless. I have tried to get other health insurance but that isn’t working out. No one wants to cover me. No real surprise there. I wonder if this means I will be fined under Obamacare?

Anyway, without the insurance I can’t afford my medications, even with the disability payments. Between meds and constant doctor visits I go through a lot of money each month, money that I can not afford. I am still unsure of what to do about this, it has been weighing on my mind since Saturday. I imagine something will come up, God seems to provide just in time, usually when I realize I need to stop worrying about it.

Also, it bares repeating, Pop Tarts are highly flammable. Don’t ask how I know, I just do and we will leave it at that.

Let’s get on to something a little more interesting shall we. This is a portrait I took of the girls just before Christmas. I am not super happy with it, I really need a better background and the lighting is a bit off. Why am I sharing it with you then? Cause I am sick and haven’t taken anything new yet!

Click to enlarge

I have been trying to prepare for my appeal, unfortunately, they don’t really give you any help on this. I still have not received their “evidence”, they supposedly were going to send me. I am beginning to think that was just something to distract me.

There is so much wrong with this system it is unbelievable, and the government wants me to trust them with my health care as well? My caseworker refuses to return my calls or even answer her phone. Whenever you talk to someone there they talk down to you like you are a piece of something they found on their shoe. I understand that their job is stressful and they are constantly having to deal with people trying to game the system. I am not one of those and do not expect to be treated this way.

You can complain to public officials till you are blue in the face, but since I am only one voter they could care less either. I will be glad to see many of my current elected officials go. If the government can’t even handle the Medicaid or social security system they have now, I shudder to think what they will do to my health care once they have it in their grubby little paws.

Does our current health care system need fixed, yes. Is the government the ones who should do it, heck no. I’ll tell you what, as soon as you can make the postal system turn a profit I will let you handle my health care.

I feel like crap!

Seriously, still nauseous all the time, still in pain a lot of the time. That other symptom that I don’t like to talk about, yeah that’s still there too, maybe even a bit worse than before.

Other than that, everything is great. Well, except for the fact that I still am unable to work so I am bringing in no income. Thank God Becky has a job, other wise things would be much worse.

Am I stressed? You bet!

Have I turned the worry over to God? Most of it, I am having trouble letting go of some of it!

Will things get better? Health wise, I have no idea. In all other areas, that is up to God. I am certain that He will make things better in His time, if that is His will. Till that time, I will wait as patiently as I can!

Yes I know I still haven’t posted the rest of the surgery story, I had to put it on hold for just a bit. I have a paying web job to do and it is taking a lot of my concentration. I should have the harder parts of it done soon and be able to put my mind to more important tasks like babbling about my problems.

I had a follow up visit with my surgeon today. I am apparently I am right on track and healing as expected. News to me, but whatever you say doc. Someday I may be able to join the workforce again and have a regular job, unless of course the economy takes a further tailspin into the abyss. As it is there aren’t many jobs around here. Thank God for the web job and secret shopper jobs. At least I am eating unhealthily!

Well the dentist visit went alright, you know, for getting a tooth ripped out and all. It wasn’t fun but not entirely too unpleasant either.

According to my junk scale, I have lost 9 pounds since starting my diet. I am off mountain dew and coca cola. While it has so far been impossible to stick to a completely organic diet, I have done pretty well. I have been eating healthier and following as many of the recommendations of The Makers Diet as I can. Honestly, a lot of the foods he recommends are quite good actually. There are some recipe’s in the book also that I want to try. Getting some of the ingredients has proven problematic as the local health food store is quite pricey.

The local chain stores carry some of the stuff, but wandering around them with all the garbage I am not allowed to have makes it quite an adventure. I want junk food, really really want it. But realizing that it is taking years off my already short time on this planet makes them somewhat less appealing.

I am just blathering again with no apparent goal in mind so I will sign off for now.

God bless,
Jeff A