I have not ceased in thanking Him since Thursday and I will  never stop.

Thank you God for making what is usually one of the most stressful times of the year and making it the most comfortable I have had in many years!

So to all my friends I hope your Christmas will be merry and bright and that you will reflect on the things that God has blessed you with. And for any atheists who may read this, enjoy the snow.

I have been trying to prepare for my appeal, unfortunately, they don’t really give you any help on this. I still have not received their “evidence”, they supposedly were going to send me. I am beginning to think that was just something to distract me.

There is so much wrong with this system it is unbelievable, and the government wants me to trust them with my health care as well? My caseworker refuses to return my calls or even answer her phone. Whenever you talk to someone there they talk down to you like you are a piece of something they found on their shoe. I understand that their job is stressful and they are constantly having to deal with people trying to game the system. I am not one of those and do not expect to be treated this way.

You can complain to public officials till you are blue in the face, but since I am only one voter they could care less either. I will be glad to see many of my current elected officials go. If the government can’t even handle the Medicaid or social security system they have now, I shudder to think what they will do to my health care once they have it in their grubby little paws.

Does our current health care system need fixed, yes. Is the government the ones who should do it, heck no. I’ll tell you what, as soon as you can make the postal system turn a profit I will let you handle my health care.

I feel like crap!

Seriously, still nauseous all the time, still in pain a lot of the time. That other symptom that I don’t like to talk about, yeah that’s still there too, maybe even a bit worse than before.

Other than that, everything is great. Well, except for the fact that I still am unable to work so I am bringing in no income. Thank God Becky has a job, other wise things would be much worse.

Am I stressed? You bet!

Have I turned the worry over to God? Most of it, I am having trouble letting go of some of it!

Will things get better? Health wise, I have no idea. In all other areas, that is up to God. I am certain that He will make things better in His time, if that is His will. Till that time, I will wait as patiently as I can!

Anyway, Friday was a bad day, very very bad. It was like a Monday only 10 times worse. I have this hangup about work, I have to accomplish something. Friday night, I did not. I was having no luck with anything that I did. I was ready to surrender before the first half on the night was up.

I thought I had put that night behind me though. Then came Monday. It was a Monday like no other Monday I had ever experienced. By the end of the night I was a firm believer that Mondays are evil, pure evil. I practically ran out of the building when my shift was over last night.

Now we come to today. As I sit here I am thinking about what might happen tonight at work. I really don’t want to go. I need a break from the stress, I have no more sick days left. I guess I could call in dead!

Fortunately for my company they already know that my mind tends to shut down during moments of stress or annoyance. If there is one thing that working in inspection can do to you it is annoy! I mean nothing against my co-workers but sometimes they can be a bit annoying. But hey, the whole world can be annoying at times!

Well got to go, Becky needs the computer as her works internet connection is down!

Obviously when they did this they also went to the trouble of switching out the muscles too. The ones I have now seem way more achy than the ones I used to have! I also noticed this weird popping noise when I stand up or stretch, got the bones too didn’t they?

At the heart of this whole revelation is my visit with my parents awhile back. I was sitting there chatting away with them when it suddenly occurred to me that my parents are getting old! I have never really seen them in that light before so it was really like seeing them for the first time ever! Honestly, it really gave me quite a pause. Reality just swooped in and set the tone for the rest of my life.

I am not the person I used to be, that can be both good and bad. I used to love stress, I loved the constant on the edge feeling that came with high stress moments. I took those times with a stride that I can’t even match in the relaxed moments now. Lord help me when stress becomes involved, I usually fall apart. I used to love being on the go, all the time. I was in a constant state of motion. Sometimes I would stay up for days straight just to get what I set out to do accomplished! Now I get grumpy if I am awake for more than 12 hours! What a change.

Alright, time to give my wrinkled flesh and atrophied muscles a rest, see ya.

Seriously though, it has been a rough week and when you combine that with the less than spectacular weather we are having it makes for a pretty cruddy week. If it wasn’t for my music I am pretty sure I would probably snap. There aren’t many things that I consider things I can’t live without but I am putting my MP3 player on that short list!

I forgot I was writing this post. I went to my music library on my computer and got lost in it! See, if it wasn’t for music I would go nutso!(and the stupid spell checker is going to have to get over it, nutso is too a word!)

Bleh, I’m going to bed, see you all on the other side!

Not only did I lose several posts but all my settings were lost as well. That is what really stunk about it. I could have lost the posts and thought nothing of it. But all the settings for the site and any customizations were lost in my little fiasco.

While it was a big pain in the butt to fix it did help me to see what is and isn’t working well with the site. I have added a few features, some of which you won’t notice and some you will. I will continue tweaking the site and getting back on track with postings here soon.

I had really gotten away from what I wanted this site to be so I am taking this as a chance to reassess the site and try to get it back on track. Hopefully once I get back on track I will get back some of the readers that I lost. Sure, some of the ones I lost are now popular and don’t have time for me anymore but some just faded away when I started going south with my posts. I hope to attract a few of them back and maybe get a few new people in here with us.

Let’s get this party started!